JOURNAL: Balancing Family and Fashion

Sometimes I can't decide if I'm living a full, satisfying life or a crazy double life. 

I work model fittings, runway shows, and photo shoots in between play dates and legos. 

Either way, I love it.

I love every aspect of being a mom and can't possibly imagine a life without the kids 

but some days finding balance is harder than other days. Both work and family can be demanding and kids don't understand the word "Later." For them, every moment counts.

In my world, family and fashion are so intertwined I couldn't possibly 

keep them as separated as other designers seem to. 

I design clothes I can wear while running between fittings and preschool.

 I almost never wear heels because then I can't keep up with the little ones and my morning hair /makeup routine takes 10 minutes tops..... I'm such a mom.

Some days I get frustrated that I'm not more productive, manage my time better, and more organized. But it's hard to be incredibly organized with 3 kids under 6 on 2 different schedules.

I just do what every parent does.... her best.

That doesn't mean I can't do better though.

I will always be my own worst critic and never totally satisfied with a given project. It pushes me forward and guarantees that I'm always learning. Yes, I'm hard on myself, but I use my frustrations as motivation. I'm constantly trying to find ways to balance my time better. I try to wake up before the kids to get some work done and stay up late every night. I work 7 days a week and can say I thoroughly enjoy when my head hits the pillow at night.

I want my cars and house spotless, work To-Do lists that take several pages, play dates scheduled nearly every day of the week, a husband I can't wait to see at night, and orders I can barely keep up with. I want these things.... and I'm a firm believer that if you want anything bad enough, you make it all work. You find balance by sheer determination and constant effort.

I feel like my priorities are where they should be. I love my family more than I can express. Without them, I wouldn't have the creative drive to do anything remotely artistic. I love work, and if it takes a few years longer to grow my business because I've enjoyed my kids childhood, I can live with that.... happily.

DESIGNER JOURNAL: New Years Resolutions

I love New Years.

You won't find me in a huge crowd when the clock strikes midnight or dancing at a party. I usually spend New Years with my family. We watch movies, eat too much, the kids get cranky at nine, but we let them stay up anyway. Maybe it's boring, but it's relaxing and I love it.

I see the new year as a new beginning. It's a chance to set new goals and feel unrealistically ambitious. Every year has been an an insanely big year since I turned 18 so the start or a new chapter is extra motivating. I can't wait. I have goal lists from when I was a kid in my journals somewhere. Most of them have the same 4 things unchecked:

-Learn French

-Travel to Europe

-Pay off my debts

-Learn Guitar

Along with a page or two of others that I've actually managed to conquer. So this year, I thought I'd share my Resolutions with you, and I'll be coming back to this post throughout the year to cross off completed ones.

IN 2014:

2014 PERSONAL RESOLUTIONS:

• I'll Finally Learn French
• Take the kids back to Disneyland
• Create and live within a realistic budget
• Install can lighting and rip out the popcorn ceiling in the basement
• Take weekend vacations with Jon to Long Beach, Vegas, Seattle, and Portland without the kids
• Pay off half our debt (<- Trying to be more realistic here)
• Complete the bodybuilding.com workout program I've started 3 times.
• Write 5 things I'm grateful for atleast 4 times a week
• Plant something and keep it alive for an entire season
• Enroll the kids in Karate, Gymnastics, and Ballet
• Take an art class with Jon

2014 BUSINESS RESOLUTIONS:

• Attend Magic (A trade show for the fashion industry)
• Be a vendor at the Magic Trade Show
• Sell my clothing line at 10 eCommerce sites
• Sell my Clothing line at 20 Brick-and-Mortar Boutiques
• Keep up on my blog!
• Maintain a relationship with my SCORE.org adviser
• Launch collections along the time frames of the industry rather than "when I have a moment"
• Make all updates to the website (LissmeeApparel.com) that are on my list
• Have at least 12 unpaid press publications for the year

Wish me luck!