JOURNAL: Balancing Family and Fashion

Sometimes I can't decide if I'm living a full, satisfying life or a crazy double life. 

I work model fittings, runway shows, and photo shoots in between play dates and legos. 

Either way, I love it.

I love every aspect of being a mom and can't possibly imagine a life without the kids 

but some days finding balance is harder than other days. Both work and family can be demanding and kids don't understand the word "Later." For them, every moment counts.

In my world, family and fashion are so intertwined I couldn't possibly 

keep them as separated as other designers seem to. 

I design clothes I can wear while running between fittings and preschool.

 I almost never wear heels because then I can't keep up with the little ones and my morning hair /makeup routine takes 10 minutes tops..... I'm such a mom.

Some days I get frustrated that I'm not more productive, manage my time better, and more organized. But it's hard to be incredibly organized with 3 kids under 6 on 2 different schedules.

I just do what every parent does.... her best.

That doesn't mean I can't do better though.

I will always be my own worst critic and never totally satisfied with a given project. It pushes me forward and guarantees that I'm always learning. Yes, I'm hard on myself, but I use my frustrations as motivation. I'm constantly trying to find ways to balance my time better. I try to wake up before the kids to get some work done and stay up late every night. I work 7 days a week and can say I thoroughly enjoy when my head hits the pillow at night.

I want my cars and house spotless, work To-Do lists that take several pages, play dates scheduled nearly every day of the week, a husband I can't wait to see at night, and orders I can barely keep up with. I want these things.... and I'm a firm believer that if you want anything bad enough, you make it all work. You find balance by sheer determination and constant effort.

I feel like my priorities are where they should be. I love my family more than I can express. Without them, I wouldn't have the creative drive to do anything remotely artistic. I love work, and if it takes a few years longer to grow my business because I've enjoyed my kids childhood, I can live with that.... happily.